Flipping the Script on Your Love Story.

One of my favorite parts of being a writer is doing the research. For my newest book, Hey, I Love You...I spent a lot of time in conversation with married people. And whether it was newlyweds, happily weds, regrettably weds, or forever weds, the first question I always asked was, What page are you on in your love story? This was usually followed by an awkward silence as they wondered if I was talking about the latest Danielle Steel novel on the nightstand, or a recent Hallmark movie. Then it would dawn on them, I was asking about their marriage. Their love story. 

What I discovered is that most couples think about their marriage as something that is. Not something that is unfolding. It’s as if the act of getting married is the final chapter in the tale of how they met, and fell in love. Think about it. At dinner parties, it’s common to ask a couple how they met. But nobody ever asks, “So, what will happen next with you two?” Imagine if someone asked you that question. Do you know what you would say?   

The more you communicate empathetically and compassionately, the closer you’ll become.

It’s incredibly empowering to know that the best part of your story isn’t written yet. You’re like a time traveler! Everything you do and say today, influences your tomorrow. Will you be empathetic, caring and present? Or will you be judgmental, annoyed or distant? One response brings you closer together, and the other pushes you further apart. Where do you want the story to go?

No, we can’t always control the challenges in our lives and our relationships. But what we can control is how we face them. Every love story, even the epic ones, have elements of conflict. But what makes a story truly great is when there’s character growth and resolution. How will you and your partner overcome the next crisis? Will you stop repeating the same mistakes and unlock the joy of deeper connection? Will you pick up on the signals of what’s going on in your partner’s head and heart?

If you aren’t on a great page in your love story, then flip the script. Let go of what happened yesterday and move the narrative forward. Communicate your feelings honestly and thoughtfully. Spark up romance. Encourage one another. Ask for help folding the laundry. Apologize! If you have trouble doing those things, it’s okay. My book makes it fun and easy. And just remember that the more you communicate empathetically and compassionately, the closer you’ll become. And whatever you do, never stop trying to be the one your partner is excited to share a lifetime with.