Curing Wedding Gift Anxiety.
Recently I was shopping for a wedding gift, and the whole experience had me wishing I was sipping from a bowl of spiked punch. First of all, I couldn’t remember the name of where the bride and groom mentioned they were registered. Something with a Z, or a B, G? I could have asked again but, awkward. Did you know there are literally hundreds of places you can be registered for bridal shower gift or wedding gift these days, and they almost all begin with a consonant?
Eureka! After some intuitive searching, I found the couple’s wedding registry. Now, all I had to do was choose the perfect wedding present from the items they declared they already wanted. Which would have been easier if there was anything left on the list besides the items that end up in the back of the kitchen junk drawer. Would copper measuring spoons properly express my affection? It was still a month before the wedding but apparently I was behind. For a moment I considered purchasing all the remaining, miscellaneous odds and ends and sending them with a clever note: “Here’s to those ordinary things that make an extraordinary life!” Gag. Obviously, I was going to have to go rogue.
Even shopping off-registry was challenging. High thread-count sheets are acceptable, as long as they’re produced sustainably and ethically, and are completely returnable. Queen? King? Teflon is toxic, but anodized aluminum and non-stick ceramic are currently deemed acceptable. Does this couple even like to cook? Espresso makers are bougie, but K-cups are destroying the world. A gift card to home depot? Well, that’s just depressing.
Would copper measuring spoons properly express my affection?
My dad always gave every engaged couple the same gift. A rice cooker. He bestowed this wedding present upon them whether they liked rice, didn’t like rice, desired an appliance that took up counter space, or not. To this day I wonder how many people think of my dad when they’re eating beef broccoli. Not until now did I understand why he likely did this. To keep from going gray. He never worried about what to give a newlywed couple, or whether they would like it. At some point he decided that a rice cooker was a worldly, practical and affordable representation of his love.
I’ve got nothing against a good rice cooker. But I’ve always wished I could give couples a more meaningful gift. Something they don’t even know they’ll need, but will be so grateful to have when they do. Something that could actually support them when things are going great, and when the world feels upside down. That was the germ of why I wrote Hey, I Love You… A marriage book that includes exactly what I wish someone had given me on my wedding day– tried and true wisdom on how to make marriage work and be great life partners.
Like my dad, I can stop having anxiety about finding the perfect gift. I can finally give something that is an adequate representation of my love. It’s not a wedding gift, it’s a marriage gift. Okay, those copper measuring spoons are actually really cute, so i’ll throw them in too.
